Spice Up Your Bedroom for Valentine's Day

Like the title? Well, I had to elicit male readers somehow.

It’s here again - Valentine’s Day, the hot pink holiday that’s got them in the hot seat one more time. ‘Why the need for such a day?’ men gripe. ‘When you love someone, why must you be pressured to go out and show it on one selective day? It’s not even a real holiday. It’s a total marketing thing.’ The complaints unravel faster than satin ribbon on a rolling spool.

I must confess, however, that I do agree with the one-day-for-love thing. Women should feel loved every day, just as men should. So here’s a new angle, a more logical one, for those at odds with hearts and flowers. How about scrapping Valentine’s Day and expressing your love every day?

Making love starts in the morning.

Do you awaken each day with a Will Smith-like attitude that conveys – what can I do to make my woman happy? to make her life more jiggy? Still trying to figure it out?

How about awakening to her in the same manner that you would have when you first met her, with the unquestionable eyes and hands that say one thing: I love you. I love you before sex and I love you afterward. Heck, I love you even when it doesn’t happen (I’m milking the valentine card here).

If that’s too strenuous…there’s always COFFEE.

It’s true. Women enjoy coffee in the morning probably as much as sex. There’s something about caffeine and needy kids that’s an instant love-magnet. As in…I can actually prepare a backpack and breakfast with energy that I did not have to manufacture. The steaming cup is right in front of me. Still not convinced?

How about bringing her flowers for no reason? when there’s no pressure?
What is it with this woman and flowers thing anyway?

I’ll let you in on an ancient female secret. It has nothing to do with the cost or kind of flower (though I must admit, roses do rock), it has everything to do with the way it makes a woman feel when presented with them.

It’s the ‘know’ that her man thought of her at the florist, that he took the time out of his exhausting day to make her feel important. (Note: on-line shopping gains less points here…it’s just too fast. Love is patient, not a button away).

Not a flowery kind of guy? No problem. How about a love note? Are most of the e-mails addressed to your lover confined to the tying of loose ends, to the assurance that things are getting done? Or do they take on a pinker tone, a more valentine tone? Remember, your lover is more than just a roommate and if you want to her act like the sex kitten you desire later, you best soften to her purrs.

Are you more apt to listen to her as though she’s the only woman in the room or does she have to vie for your time? Do you tend to have affairs with the remote? with the keyboard? cell phone? Think about it. The honest answer is just too costly to ignore.

Reflect on your first few dates with your loved one. Recall the aura of falling in love. It felt exhilarating, the best kind of high, because you only focused on the good parts of her, and she on you.

If she parked in a tight spot but owned a coconut tree air freshener, you’d notice the scent of her car over her driving competence. If she cooked you spaghetti but burned the bottom of the sauce pan, you’d focus on the taste of the pasta over the astounding financial loss of the pan.

Those of you lucky enough to fall in love know how simple it can be to choose this attitude--this love--every single day. There is no room for criticism, fault-finding, or self-righteousness when it comes to being in love. She’s worth more than your pride, just as she was the first time you fell in love with her. And guess what? You’re worth what she’ll give back later.

If you’re mastering all of the above on a daily basis, save your pennies on Valentine’s Day. You and your lover don't need the 'holiday' because you're living it. Your tea kettle breathes heart shaped steam, and your chimney, red hot smoke.

If, however, you’ve slacked off in the love department, don’t be surprised if your loved one desires some stock on Valentine’s Day.

Love can be a profit or a loss.

Which will you choose? I’m hoping that you’ll invest in love every day, Valentine’s or not.